Let’s be real, making friends as an adult can be hard, and influencing people without sounding fake? Even harder. But guess what? The classic wisdom from Dale Carnegie’s iconic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” still hits harder than ever — even in this TikTok, Gen Z, and WFH era.
So whether you’re networking at work, navigating tricky social circles, or just want to be the kind of person others actually like, here’s how to do it Carnegie-style, with a twist.
1. Be Genuinely Interested in Others
Sounds simple, right? But in a world full of “me, me, me” , taking the time to really listen makes you instantly stand out. Ask questions. Remember names. Say things like “Tell me more” and actually mean it. People love talking about themselves, and they’ll love you for letting them.
2. Smile – Yes, It Still Works
It’s free, it’s universal, and it makes people feel safe and seen. Whether it’s in person or through a screen, a warm smile is still one of the easiest ways to win hearts.
3. Avoid Criticism and Condemnation
Calling someone out might feel good in the moment, but it rarely changes their mind. Want to influence people? Build them up instead of tearing them down. Correct gently or better yet, guide through encouragement.
4. Make the Other Person Feel Important — Sincerely
Give genuine compliments. Praise the effort, not just the outcome. Even saying “I really admire how you handled that” can go a long way. Validation is powerful when it’s real.
5. Talk in Terms of Their Interests
Want someone to engage with you? Speak their language. Whether it’s K-drama news, finance memes, or niche hobbies, if you show you care about what they care about, you’ll create an instant connection. Don’t really know the latest trends? You know where to get the latest updates in fashion, beauty, and entertainment!
Winning friends and influencing people isn’t about being manipulative — it’s about being thoughtful. So if you’re looking to level up your social game, build stronger relationships, or simply become more likeable these how to win friends and influencing people tips are still gold. Because no matter how much the world changes, being kind, curious, and considerate never goes out of style.
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